My first love was Angela Benham.
At the age of seven I was for some reason struck with this cute brunette with wavy hair, who was very popular in school, but who I don’t think even knew I existed.
Back then I was of course fairly plain, overweight, and incredibly shy. Actually shy isn’t strong enough to describe what I had. I was so shy I was too afraid to go to the local shops for my Mum, because that meant having to talk to the shopkeeper. I also never answered the phone until I was 15. I really was that shy.
But back to Angela, my first love, and almost 50 years on I have no idea what I saw in her or what feelings I actually had, but I had a crush on her at least.
My big chance came when it was my turn to be a team leader when we played games. Every week two captains were selected by the teacher, and we each picked our own teams.
I was torn between picking my Angela, who I desperately wanted on my team, and one of the other boys, who I knew I wanted to give us a chance of winning.
And so, I picked a boy first, and was going to pick Angela second, except to my horror, the other captain picked her first. I was heartbroken.
I think that it was only a few months after that I transferred to a different school, which was located miles in the opposite direction, and I never saw or heard of Angela again. But I do remember her name, and my moment of heartbreak as I made the common mistake of allowing my head to rule not my heart, and I sometimes wonder whatever became of my first love.
This article was a project for the week for GBE2 (Global Blogging Experience) and was based on the words “First Love”.
26 thoughts on “My First Love”
Nice story Tony. It’s amazing how these things stick with us for oh so many years!
It’s funny how having to write about a word or phrase sometimes brings back memories from a long time ago.
I was incredibly shy and quiet during my school days. I opened up more by junior year of high school, but I was still quiet.
I was so shy as a child, too, Tony so I empathize. It’s amazing how strong those first love emotions are that you can still remember it all vividly years later. These experiences become part of who we are and part of our story. Thanks for sharing.
You never answered the most important question: When you placed the guy on your team instead of Angela, did you win?
Joyce
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com
@Joyce I wish I knew. I can’t remember either way, but I have a feeling that we lost that day, which makes the memory even sadder.
I guess you’ll always remember your first crush in some way.
Tony – I was NEVER shy!!! LOL But, my sister was and I can relate your shyness to hers. First loves, wonder what ever happened to them? We may never know…cheers !
@Michele I guess so often we never do know what happened to our first loves, or even to a lot of those that we grew up with, especially as people moved away and never kept in touch.
That’s the rub, isn’t it? Heart vs. head….we know what we SHOULD do, but what happens when we WANT to do something else? Would the outcome have been the same? Is that how fate works sometimes, or would it have led us down a completely different path?
Sigh.
It’s an interesting scenario isn’t it. What if we had made different decisions one day and that affected the rest of our lives. It reminds me of a movie with Nicholas Cage, The Family Man, where he waked up one day to find his life has changed.
Very nice, I would have written about my first grade crush….but alas, he is my friend on facebook (and his wife, brother and sister…) not spilling that secret 🙂
@Sylvie LOL that would be an interesting can of worms to open…
Don’t you also wonder if she wonders about you? Did she know? Did she care? I love remembering, but I also love dreaming about what’s next.
@Jo I have wondered that about some people, but I guess with my first love having been 50 years ago, it’s all in the past.
Adorable post, I could actually picture the moment!
Such a sweet memory to have from such a young age. If it has stuck with you that long…First Love it definitely is. Great post Tony!!
Funny how we always remember that first stirring of love for another human being who isn’t a family member,isn’t it. Lovely little tale 🙂
All of my childhood crushes were secret. I was too shy and embarrassed to admit to them. I really related to your story and was so into it that I inwardly screamed in horror when I read that she was first pick for the OTHER TEAM! NOOOOO! How could that be??????!!!!
Argh. Awful. Angst-ridden memory. lolol. I feel the pain of the moment.
Thanks for sharing this. I think we can all relate on some level. Obviously, I relate a whole lot!
🙂
Amy
From The Mom Cave
Even at an early age, we all strive to get noticed by the people we are attracted to, don’t we? I was very shy when I was younger, too. My mother sent me to the store once to get her something. It was a frightening experience for me, and now that I think about it, I wonder if that experience contributed to my hatred of shopping. http://myheartblogstoyou.blogspot.com/2011/06/one-moms-first-love.html
Sweet story Tony. Wonder what happened to Angela?
Always pick the girl !!!! good story
I would have guessed that you were so shy, Tony! Interesting as we get to know people on-line!
It’s too bad that you didn’t get more of a chance to know Angela, but part of her stayed with you I’m sure…
Lovely blog!
I think it’s good you remembered her full name. I would be hard pressed to name anyone in my class at age 7. Although, in your case it was love so it stuck with you. Sweet post.
Pam
Maybe right this very minute, Angela is writing a post for her blogging group, and she’s remembering this sweet boy from school who was shy and quiet. She’s telling a story of the day that he was team leader and she wished really hard that he would choose her, and that even though he picked someone else, remembering him still makes her smile. :O)
I think we have all had at least one “love” that never noticed we existed. I had one of those as a young adult, but it was worse because he knew I liked him, and avoided me. :S
I too was painfully shy as a youth, and would even blush if someone talked to me. I’m not sure how I out grew they shyness, but people who know me now would be quite surprised to find out that I was once very shy.